Feeding My Passion

The sun seems to be peeking through the clouds, but it could just be the persistent California sun in the cloudless sky. The twinge seems to be so much smaller, less twisting and permanent than before.

When the emotional shit hit the emotional fan on Sunday, and I was alone, driving along the highway by myself, I realized very quickly I had to sit still emotionally, and force myself to enjoy the (typically) perfect weather, or I would have been driving off the road and honking the horn in regular 1 second intervals because I’d be punching it. Repeatedly. I stayed.

And now, after a little more kind and honest conversation, I feel…less of the thing that has been poisoning me, and more of the sun inside of me.

But it will be quite a while until I trust someone with my heart again, because I don’t want to give it in dribs and drabs, I want to feel everything I did before, and more. Otherwise what’s the point?